Welcome Shoppers! to the

Good Night Shopping Network

You’re just in time for our Black Friday Squeals and Deals™!

Or shop by calling 646-833-8332

RED PYRAMID

$49.99 (4 easy payments)

Or 144 FlexPay of 35¢, paid off by 2034!

This stunning, effervescent, immaculate shape is sure to be a hit at your next family gathering.

What you get

  • Red Pyramid

  • A lifetime of satisfaction

  • 5 glorious sides

  • 5 shocking premonitions will come to you once this arrives in the mail

Titanium Cube

$10^3

Or 1444 FlexPay of 70¢, paid off by 2143!

This pristine, prompt, preeminent shape is sure to be a hit at your next workplace gathering.

What you get

  • Titanium Cube

  • Something that will get the whole neighborhood talking

  • Mysteries untold within

  • You get what you get

  • And you don’t get upset.

Hair Morsel™

$1 (500 easy payments)

Or 96 billion FlexPay of $5.20833333e-9, paid off by the death of our sun!

The Hair Morsel™ is a GNSN exclusive. You can’t get these anywhere else! While this product is classified as a controlled substance in most nations, it’s still loads of fun in international waters.

What you get

  • Hair Morsel

  • A snack for now or a friend forever

  • Complimentary bugs and ticks within!

GNSN Phone

$6

No FlexPay. It is $6.

We’re selling it all! Yes, you can buy the phone seen on the broadcast. But be quick, because once the phone is gone, there will be no way to contact us!

What you get

  • A real-life telephone

  • A valuable piece of television memorabilia

  • Complimentary bugs and ticks within!

Thank you for your business!

And your friendship…

GOOD NIGHT SHOPPING NETWORK

GOOD NIGHT SHOPPING NETWORK

WOW!

The Good Night Shopping Network (hereafter referred to as GNSN) reserves all rights to the products listed herein. Whereabouts whereof these products may enter the hands of consumers (hereafter referred to as friends), GNSN cannot and will not be held responsible for any burns, injuries, tears, scares, and/or sorrows. GNSN will, however, be held responsible for any elation, joy, satisfaction, and/or feelings of having gotten a really great deal felt by any participating friends.